Please critique cover looking for event/volunteer coordinator ( passionate about poor)?
Asked by Erika P
To whom this may concern: I would like to begin by thanking you in advance for your time and consideration in regards to the Special Event and Volunteer Coordinator position. According to the position responsibilities, and qualities you desire in a candidate, I am sure that I would be a great for The Society of St. Vincent de Paul. I am extremely passionate about the ministry of serving the poor. I served as a missionary in Nairobi Kenya in the summer of 2003, and co- organized a follow up mission trip in 2004. As the co-mission leader of the 2004 team I was responsible for seeking (volunteers) team members, as well fundraising for the cost of the mission in its entirety. As an After School Program Coordinator for Tri City Development, I facilitated the opening of a Southwestern Detroit after school programs under the "No Child Left Behind" grant. As the Program Coordinator I established open houses for parents, processed paper work to be submitted for funding for the program, supervised a staff of tutors at the Beechwood location, monitored weekly time cards, attendance of staff and students, discipline and achievements, after homework curriculum, and parent relations. Working for Tri City I also contributed to the organizing of summer camps for local youth, senior citizen services, field trips, and other tutoring programs. I shared in the responsibility of organizing volunteers to serve in our senior program. I am currently self-employed as an event coordinator. In operating Annie Bertie’s (business name) I have gained experience in vendor relations, marketing, accounting and more. I‘ve also previously served as a coordinator for a floral company named Suzabella’s. While with Suzabella’s I served as a liaison between clients and the Master Floral Designer. I supported the customer throughout the planning phase, set-up, and final production of their planned event in addition to following up with clientele to ensure their expectations where met. I have exceptional computer skills and working knowledge of Quick Books, Microsoft Word, Excel, Power Point, Movie Maker and Publisher. I used Front Page to create my companies web-site, and use Outlook, Word, and Excel in my daily life. I would love an opportunity to interview for this position. I have a bright smile, positive attitude, and energetic personality. I have seven years of professional phone experience and 10 years of customer service experience. Again I am eager to interview for this position and confident I am a fit for your organization (according to the duties and responsibilities listed). I look forward to hearing from you in regards to this position. Thank you for you time and consideration

Best Answer:
Way, way too long. I'm guessing that most of this information is already in your resume, and you are just repeating yourself. And it's VERY wordy. My first thought is, "Wow, this person cannot write, and this position needs someone who writes well." Your first paragraph should be, simply, "Attached please find my resume for the Special Event and Volunteer Coordinator position at the Society of St. Vincent de Paul. My references are also attached. I think you will find that my extensive experience in event coordination and work with community-focused groups an excellent match for this position." Your second paragraph should be, "I am particularly attracted to this position because...." This paragraph should be no more than two or three sentences. Your third paragraph should be, "I'm available for a phone or onsite interview immediately. My complete contact information is on the attached resume." Your last paragraph: "Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon."

Great credentials! However, I suggest that you trim down the letter to cover to summarize your history of relevant experience, it is not necessary nor advisable to put your entire resume in the cover letter, just enough to get the hiring director interested enough to read the resume. Good luck!
Answered by PiggiePants

Hello There. Care initiative international is looking for a trustworthy representative in Canada and United states that can help as a link between us and our Interested donors . We would like to know if you are interested to work from home and earning money. Care initiative international needs a book-keeper or representative in Canada or united states to work as a volunteer orphans donations coordinator in regards of orphans welfare, without leaving or affecting your present job. Care initiative international is a voluntary organization assisting the abandoned, motherless and homeless children the world. We need of a representative in CANADA and USA to help receive donations from interested donors. We will be so happy to hear from you so we can give you more details and guidelines in regards of the job offer .Happy day and hope to hear from you. Regards Janet Smith Orphans welfare officer. further enquiries contact orphans donations Co Ordinator tessy adams hope4_orphans@yahoo.com
Answered by careinitiative int c