Career Questions and Answers
How would you handle this improper comment?
Asked by Jane Marple
A female college of mine came into my department and I heard her ask my secretary if she had have breast implants cause her breasts are scary big!! and went on saying to better cover up herself etc. My secretary is non-confrontational so she only answered she doens't have implants and it's very hard for her to find clothes that fit her properly. That collegue is 37 y/o 5'1'' probably 100lbs My secretary is 23 y/o 5'8'' and gorgeous as can be. I want to step in but my secretary doesn't want to. Should I respect her wish or rock the house ?
Asked by Jane Marple
A female college of mine came into my department and I heard her ask my secretary if she had have breast implants cause her breasts are scary big!! and went on saying to better cover up herself etc. My secretary is non-confrontational so she only answered she doens't have implants and it's very hard for her to find clothes that fit her properly. That collegue is 37 y/o 5'1'' probably 100lbs My secretary is 23 y/o 5'8'' and gorgeous as can be. I want to step in but my secretary doesn't want to. Should I respect her wish or rock the house ?
A:
Best Answer:
Instead of approaching your colleague personally, maybe hold a refresher meeting on sexual harassment and the policies and procedures to follow. So that everyone is aware of it and if anyone has any questions afterwards or anything to report, it'll take place after the meeting. It's best to do it that way, rather than point fingers and accuse one person. If that person who was sexually harassed feels it necessary to report the colleague, then she will do so. Otherwise move on. If the problem escalates, as in it happens again, then that's grounds for reporting it.
Instead of approaching your colleague personally, maybe hold a refresher meeting on sexual harassment and the policies and procedures to follow. So that everyone is aware of it and if anyone has any questions afterwards or anything to report, it'll take place after the meeting. It's best to do it that way, rather than point fingers and accuse one person. If that person who was sexually harassed feels it necessary to report the colleague, then she will do so. Otherwise move on. If the problem escalates, as in it happens again, then that's grounds for reporting it.
A:
Stomp some Colon.
Answered by Octocat!
Answered by Octocat!
A:
Rock the house? I think you are reading way to much in to it...
Answered by BT
Answered by BT
A:
It's between you and your colleague. It was very improper, bordering on sexual harrassment. Talk to colleague privately and tell her not to comment to your secretary about her body or other private matters.
Answered by suzanne g
Answered by suzanne g
A:
you may want to say something, but be DL about it.
Answered by Amazon
Answered by Amazon
A:
i would suggest you have ur secretary friend call me up i could make her really happy :)
Answered by The Chaunce
Answered by The Chaunce
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respect her.
Answered by Louise
Answered by Louise
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Mind your buisness. If the other person is so inappropriate you will other oppurtunities to confront her. Maybe she was a little off that day and thats why she said what she said. Get more ammo before a confrontation,
Answered by deeppost
Answered by deeppost
A:
are you saying that an entire female college asked this question?
or just the building?
Answered by Bestest Mommy In The World!
Answered by Bestest Mommy In The World!
A:
pictures of your secretary will be needed for an adequate answer.
Answered by darkcloud981
Answered by darkcloud981
A:
It shouldn't matter really. Either she's jealous and wanting to be hurtful or maybe she is considering getting hers done. Either way, just let it go. If someone asked me if my boobs were fake it would be fun to tell them "hell no" but glad you like them. :-) Some people just don't find that question offensive. I've asked someone if they had a boob job before and it went ok. They might have wanted to stab me in the back later but I never heard about it.
Answered by shera_42
Answered by shera_42
A:
It's hard to say, maybe the one is jealous, but that is no excuse to be rude. It is only going to make your secretary more selfconcious. I think I would pull the rude one aside, and rock her world. And let the otherone know there is nothing wrong with her. Just remind her she is beautiful, and UGLY people are just jealous, and maybe she needs some confidence, go above the otherones head and make a complaint. Actions like that are very unprofessional. I know if I was in your situation I would RIP her a new one.
Answered by marlena42000
Answered by marlena42000
A:
It could have been worse. What if an entire female University had come in and asked her? I think it would have made her feel a lot sillier with such intelligent women pointing out her large breasts.
Answered by Yahoo Answer's Finest
Answered by Yahoo Answer's Finest
A:
if it doesn't bother your secretary then drop it, she's an adult and can decide weather a situation needs to be brought to another level or dropped herself, but you should offer her support if she decides to take action
Answered by webb51731
Answered by webb51731
A:
I would say that is defined as sexual harrassment and it could be reported. But office dynamics can be complicated, and I would tend to follow the secretary's wishes. HOWEVER, I don't agree with her. Document what happened... and tell your secretary that she shouldn't have to endure that.
Answered by BoredAtWork
Answered by BoredAtWork
A:
You have no choice, you must confront your colleague.
These inappropriate comments/questions could easily be construed as sexual harassment.
Should your secretary proceed with some sort of lawsuit, your company would be at a severe disadvantage do to your knowledge of the comments and lack of action.
A formal complaint should be lodged through your Human Resources Department. If your company doesn't have an HR Department, a formal letter should be addressed to her superior.
Please, take this matter seriously and handle it professionally or your company could suffer financial consequences.
Answered by Irish Sean
Answered by Irish Sean
A:
Just ignore it - why blow it up out of proportion? The collegue is either stupid or jealous or both. Just let the matter die.
Answered by ~girlfriday~
Answered by ~girlfriday~
A:
As a woman who has had a comment like that come her way every once in a while. I always wished that there was someone to - discreetly - step in on my behalf.
Likely your secretary is feeling embarassed and maybe even a bit ashamed, and definitely shocked by the forwardness of the statement. It was inappropriate, and even if it doesn't seem to have effected her, she's going to subconciously be insecure about it.
Your collegue was out of line, and it needs to be - discreetly - told that her words and actions were inappropriate and will not be tolerated in the future.
Answered by ElleZ
Answered by ElleZ
A:
Tell the colleague you heard the comment and that it was inappropriate. Should she make such a remark in the future you have no choice but to report her to HR.
Be part of the problem or part of the solution.
Answered by Katie H
Answered by Katie H
A:
First off, you are a great person to work for. Most bosses would have ignored it unless the secretary brought it to their attention.
Secondly, yes, I would confront the co-worker and let her know that you overheard the exchange and thought that it was extremely inappropriate. Be sure to place emphasis on the fact that you overheard. So that the employee understands that your secretary did not report it. Next time you might want to address it as it is happening. That will let your secretary off the hook since she is non-confrontational.
Answered by LaBellaBlu
Answered by LaBellaBlu
A:
That was very rude of this person for asking your secretary this I have to admit that. I wouldn't step in since your secretary doesn't want you to, but would let her have the chance to report this if she wants to.
Answered by Bonnie S
Answered by Bonnie S
A:
Just let it go. Jumping in now would only escalate the situation.
If the colleague says something further about the secretary's body, then you should probably get involved. For now, let it go.
Answered by leysarob
Answered by leysarob
A:
i think your secretary probably needs to cover up more and the other lady is trying to let her know she is offensive. for her to say "it is hard for her to find cloths that cover her well" is a big load of BS we have someone working here with absolutely enormous breasts and she is able to find clothing that is appropriate and fully covering. i think you need to talk to your secretary not the colleague
Answered by Twist
Answered by Twist
A:
speak to the HR dept, either annonymously or say you want your name kept private. Let the HR Director know that you overheard a comment from one employee to another which was inappropriate. (If asked just say it was a comment in regards to body feature & you are wanting to keep the names out of it so as not to embarass the offended person). Most companies will have an all office discussion so no one is singled out. I know your secretary doesn't want you to interfere, but she may be worried it will be harmful for her at the company if you do. When I was that age I would have been afraid to speak up myself.
Answered by Bamabrat
Answered by Bamabrat
A:
Keep that journal.
Detail times , dates, comments and activities.
There are far to many inappropriate activities and verbage taking place in your business.
Answered by flagger_guy
Answered by flagger_guy
A:
Don't step in, you'll only make it more uncomfortable for your secretary. If she says something again, do confront her with her inappropriate comments when your secretary isn't around. Jealousy...what a sickness, right?
Answered by joann_bx
Answered by joann_bx
A:
Respect her wishes
Answered by Karen H
Answered by Karen H
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