After I reported on bullying in the workplace for "Good Morning America," I heard from hundreds of people who experienced bully tactics.
Nearly 40 percent of American workers say they have experienced workplace bullying, according to a 2007 study by research firm Zogby International. A University of Minnesota report released in March 2008 found the emotional toll associated with workplace bullying can be more severe than that of sexual harassment.
Bullying in the workplace takes so many forms. Among them:
* Humiliating comments or actions: Making comments or taking action desired to humiliate you is a form of bullying. In a meeting or at the water cooler, you offer what you think is a good idea. A bully smirks and calls you a moron.
* Excessive yelling: A boss can disapprove of your performance. A boss can be upset if you're repeatedly late. But none of that is an excuse to be a screamer -- in private or in front of others. Yelling repeatedly is a bully tactic.
* Undermining your status at work: This includes withholding key information from you. Excluding you from an email distribution once could be an oversight. Doing it consistently, or always intentionally leaving you out of meetings when you ought to be in the loop, is the pattern of a bully.
* Failing to give credit: Just as damaging is failing to give you the credit you're due. If you're working diligently and producing results but the boss or a colleague refuses to acknowledge you or your contribution on an ongoing basis.
While there is no single solution -- no magic fairy dust to sprinkle to get a bully to change his or her ways -- there are some smart steps workers can take to stop bullies from continuing to target them.
1. Stop it on the spot. People who bully do it because they can, and they won't stop until someone stops them. So if you're feeling strong, tell them firmly and directly, "Don't speak to me that way. I'm professional and cordial to you, and I expect the same in return."
2. Walk away from a tirade. Stand up and excuse yourself. "I have to go to the restroom." "I have an appointment." This is especially useful if you're on the verge of getting emotional, which you don't want a bully to witness.
3. Confront the bully calmly. When you've taken a breath and have had a chance to compose your thoughts, calmly confront the bully. Cite examples of the behavior that has been humiliating or demeaning and state that you expect it to stop. No name calling, just facts delivered in a reasoned manner.
4. Document the abuse. Without the facts of when, where, witnesses and so on all clearly spelled out in writing, you risk being brushed off as a petty complainer or tattletale. By putting everything in writing as it happens, you're less likely to forget key details.
5. Leave a toxic culture. Sometimes leaving is the best and the only solution. The critics may say that's giving in to the bullies -- those bullies would like nothing more than to see you cry uncle and quit. But instead of worrying what they may or may not think, do what you know in your head and your heart is best for you. Your mental health and self-esteem are far more important than any one position.
Tory Johnson is the CEO of Women For Hire and the
Workplace Contributor on ABC's "Good Morning America." She
co-authored "Take This Book to Work: How to Ask For (and Get) Money,
Fulfillment and Advancement." Connect with her at www.womenforhire.com.
The opinions expressed in this column are solely the
author's.
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