Making the transition from college to career doesn't come easily for many students -- and it can be just as challenging for their parents, too. It's a life-changing moment for the whole family -- a time when parents must dance the thin line between helping and harassing to enable their kids to get off the couch and out on their own.
Here are eight winning ways to work together successfully.
1. Share your job-search tales. Most parents have been there. At one point they had to figure out what to do and how to pursue it. Share the good, the bad, and the ugly so your new grad knows that even if you don't share the same taste in music, you get this particular process.
2. Encourage passion and a paycheck. While parents might have one idea of what their kids should pursue post-college, let them make their choices. When they insist on going after an elusive dream that won't pay the bills (at least not yet), encourage it while also insisting that they get a paying job on the side. Instilling financial responsibility and personal accountability is a priceless lesson.
3. Promote campus career services. Access to career services is a perk on every campus. But the help won't just appear; students have to seek it out, so remind your grad to make an appointment for a one-on-one coaching session. Career service offices offer free assessments to help students pick the right career path, provide information on who's hiring, and connect students with alumni in the field they want to pursue.
4. Never make joint appearances at career fairs or interviews. Never attend career fairs, interviews, or networking events with your son or daughter. This undercuts the impression he or she must make on prospective contacts and employers. It happens all the time at Women For Hire events: Mom does all the talking, while her perfectly capable daughter stands silently. Be supportive -- from home.
5. Prep together. Lend moral support, but do it from home. Create a strategy for making connections and finding a position, hit the stores for the perfect interview outfit, practice mock interviews, and clean up digital dirt. If Mom is forbidden from seeing that Facebook or MySpace profile, what about a prospective employer?
6. Don't bug your friends. Make every introduction under the sun for your darling, but stop short of leaning aggressively on your pals to make the hire. It turns your loved one into a burden instead of a genuine possibility for hire.
7. Push temporary assignments. Resist the temptation to send out a resume or two and call it a day. There's lots of idle time when job searching, so fill it with something productive, such as interning, volunteering, or temp work. This offers valuable fodder for conversation, introduction to the workplace, and another tidbit for the resume.
8. Stay optimistic. Resist urge to go negative, even when frustration sets in. When you run into a friend at the store, never say, "Oh this kid is killing me. He's so lazy and he just doesn't get it. I wonder if he'll ever get hired." Instead use the opportunity to say, "My son just graduated, and he's looking to launch his career. If you have any suggestions or contacts in this particular field, I know he'd welcome the introduction."
Just as the new grad must be proactive and positive, the folks must do the same.
Tory Johnson is the CEO of Women For Hire and the workplace contributor on ABC's "Good Morning America." She co-authored "Take This Book to Work: How to Ask For (and Get) Money, Fulfillment and Advancement." Connect with her at womenforhire.com.
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