The Networking Hall of Shame, though imaginary, highlights the point that good networkers have a few very unfortunate behaviors to avoid at all costs.
Here are the five absolutely worst networking scenarios of all time, with suggestions for rectifying the uncomfortable situations that might follow.
Since We're Friends Now
Let's say you've barely met a person at some event, and would find it tough to match his or her face to the name. Nonetheless, the new acquaintance rings you up to ask for a favor or a prime invitation, "because we're friends."
You've just encountered a Hall of Shame candidate in full plumage. Say "Gosh, I'm sorry, did we meet?" and encourage the moocher to write you with the details of your meeting. Most me-first networkers won't take the time.
Joe Sent Me to You
It's disconcerting to pick up the phone and hear a strange voice say, "Joe suggested I call." Joe is a person you've met once or twice, and the person on the phone is his friend or neighbor or cousin who's been given your name as a likely prospect for his product or service. That would be OK if Joe had ever inquired whether you'd be open to this sort of contact; as it turns out, you're not.
The Hall of Shame has Joe on its short list, but you can reply, "How surprising! I can't recall chatting with Joe about my business needs. Please send me some information to review."
How About I Call You Later?
Picture this: You meet a new acquaintance at a networking event, and you have just enough time to exchange pleasantries and business cards. Seconds later, when your new pal asks, "Can I call you later?" you can guess what's in store. Your new buddy wants to make a sales pitch, but doesn't have time just now -- she's on a furious quest for more prospects' business cards.
The best answer to this question is "email me instead." That way, you can turn off the sales pitch without raising your voice.
And What Did You Have for Breakfast?
Some networkers can't avoid filling in every person they've ever met with every detail of their lives, courtesy of personal newsletters, email blasts and other intrusions. What they don't understand is that you were living a perfectly happy and fulfilling life before being given the benefit of their endless streams of information.
We should rejoice in our friends' successes, but not be bombarded by the daily movements of people we barely know. Ask (as kindly as you can) to be removed from the distribution.
Just for You
When you send out a blast email message to 400 of your nearest and dearest networking friends, use Mail Merge to disguise the blast as a set of individual person-to-person messages, and include the line "I saw this article and thought of you," you're a sure-fire inductee for the Hall of Shame.
When you're broadcasting to your many contacts, say so. Don't become a spammer in friend's clothing.
Liz Ryan is a 25-year HR veteran, former Fortune 500 VP and an internationally recognized expert on careers and the new millennium workplace. She is the author of "Happy About Online Networking," a popular speaker on workplace and work/life topics, and the leader of the global Ask Liz Ryan online community. Contact Liz at liz@asklizryan.com.
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