It's common to want to meet new people through your network connections. "Say, Sandy," you'll say to a business friend, "do you know anyone over at General Motors?" Sandy may be able to help you, but introductions are a tricky business.
The tips below can help keep you on the right side of the networking-introduction etiquette line.
Build the Foundations
First off, you can't ask for an introduction from a brand-new acquaintance. About the rudest thing in the world is to approach a person and ask, "So, where do you work?" followed by, "Could you introduce me to the purchasing manager in your division?"
You've got to cultivate relationships ? some people call them business friendships. After all, a request for an introduction is not a small thing. You're asking a person to vouch for you. And how can they do that if they don't know you?
An introduction request is a very big favor. It's more of a favor than, say, asking a person to look over your resume. Looking over your resume only uses up a person's time. That's valuable enough, but a person's reputation is gold. You can't ask people to let you ride on their reputations and their longstanding relationships until you know them well and vice versa.
Don't Hide the Facts
When you ask for an introduction, you've got to be clear and specific. When I worked for a technology company in the Northeast, and a young man in our office asked me to have coffee with a friend of his. "Is she job-seeking?" I asked. I'm an HR person, so it was a logical question.
"I think she is," said the young man. She'd asked him to introduce us, without being specific. She should have provided more details, and he should have asked for them. I should have asked for more info, too.
I agreed to have coffee with the young woman. I headed off to a 7 a.m. breakfast and a wholly unwelcome sales pitch for some random HR software system the young lady was selling. I wouldn't have agreed to meet her if I'd known it was a sales call. Introductions should come with plenty of information.
Never Steal an Introduction
The very most important rule for networking introductions is this: Never steal. You "steal" an introduction when you hear that your friend knows a lofty person ? say, Bill Gates -- and then you call Gates' office and say, "I'm a good friend of Jane Smith's!" That is atrocious.
If you want an introduction, you should ask your friend for one. You can't use his or her name in introducing yourself, as though your friend encouraged you to make the outreach when in fact he or she didn't. If your friends catch you using their names in vain, they will cut you off, and rightly so.
You'll see why your friends are so cautious with their introductions when you start having high-profile associates yourself, if you don't already. We don't have any asset more valuable than our relationships. Manage them wisely!
Liz Ryan is a 25-year HR veteran, former Fortune 500 VP and an internationally recognized expert on careers and the new millennium workplace. She is the author of "Happy About Online Networking," a popular speaker on workplace and work/life topics, and the leader of the global Ask Liz Ryan online community. Contact Liz at liz@asklizryan.com.
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