When I talk with people about networking, I tell them this story: Years ago, if you could sell ice to Inuits, you could make a lot of money as an encyclopedia salesperson. Remember those folks? Back in the day, there was always some guy going door to door, peddling encyclopedias in the neighborhood.
If the encyclopedia guy didn't sell you a set of books, he'd move on to the next house. Selling encyclopedias the old-fashioned way was a binary process. Everything happened in that living room, in the first five minutes. Some networkers treat their interactions the same way.
When they attend networking events and meet new people, those networkers think: I'll hit you up with my business message, and maybe you'll bite. If not, no problem I'll move on to the next fish in the sea. But this technique is good for encyclopedia salespeople, not networkers!
Find a Human Connection
Networking works best when you spend enough time to find a connection with the person you're meeting and I mean a human connection, not a business one. If you think of your networking as building relationships rather than closing sales, you'll plant seeds that will do you worlds more good than one quick sale will do.
The problem with the networking-as-selling technique is not only that it's off-putting. It's also a waste of your time! If you approach networking in that binary way, there are only two possible outcomes to every new interaction. One is a very small possibility that your new acquaintance says, "Wow! You are a mortgage broker? Well, this is lucky -- I'm new to town and I need a mortgage." It's much more likely that you get the other outcome: the person responds, "Great to hear about your business" and doesn't buy what you're selling.
And if that happens, there's nowhere left to go. You sacrificed the chance to build a relationship for the chance to deliver your encyclopedia spiel.
Build Ties That Last
Now, on the other hand, if you spend time getting to know a person, you will have created a little bond between you and him (or her). Three, five or 10 months from now, when someone asks your new friend about mortgage brokers in town, a little bell will go off in your contact's head. He or she will say, "You know, I met the most interesting guy at an event last spring he's a mortgage broker, very funny and interesting. He walked the entire Appalachian Trail!"
People remember the human details about the people they meet. Mark my words.
Opt for Quality, not Quantity
So if you're networking primarily for new-business development, my advice is this: put away your encyclopedia-sales hat and put on your relationship-building one. Count yourself lucky if you make three significant new contacts at each event you attend, and don't stress out about working the entire room and collecting business cards.
It's far better to get a phone call -- six weeks later -- asking, "Joe? Didn't we meet at the Chamber event -- did I remember correctly that you are a mortgage broker?" than to be remembered as the aggressive dude who can't talk about anything but mortgages.
It only makes sense -- if people know you and think highly of you, the business results will be there. Just remember this simple networking mantra: people first, business later. It never fails.
Liz Ryan is a 25-year HR veteran, former Fortune 500 VP and an internationally recognized expert on careers and the new millennium workplace. She is the author of "Happy About Online Networking," creator of the Career Bound workshop, and founder of the global women's organization formerly known as WorldWIT. Contact Liz at liz@asklizryan.com.
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